How to achieve that elusive work-life balance

So it's early Sunday morning, and one of the work phone lines rings (my partner and I both work from home when we're not out and about with clients.) He rushes to the phone, and I yell "Leave it!!! - Don't they know it's Sunday?".  He answers it anyway, and after 20 minutes comes back and tells me it was just as well he did answer it, as it was an important new client on the brink of a huge new IT project for him... "Oh that's alright then" I say.

There's the rub. I very much appreciate and value our down-time together, but I am also quite ambitious for our businesses, and get excited about the prospect of new projects. It occurred to me later that evening, after watching a film on TV that our principles and values are only strong to a point. Each person will from time to time feel conflicted when they find themselves in a situation that challenges these principles. The work phone ringing on a Sunday morning was, for me, one of those situations. But rather than beat myself up for too long for not sticking to my principles, I decided it was time to remind myself of why I believe in balancing work and non-work activities, and to put some "all-year resolutions" into place.

First the benefits (I shouldn't need reminding of these, but here we go)

• Increased resilience - inevitable stressful situations are experienced as less threatening and leave less of a mark.
• Increased tolerance of other people's behaviour - which protects relationships both in and out of work.
• Better decision making and problem solving - clearer thought processes help me to identify not just obvious solutions, and to be more decisive.
• Enhanced productivity - when rested, I can plough through administrative tasks as at a rate of knots. Whereas when I'm overdoing it, it becomes like wading through treacle.
• Higher motivation - I absolutely love my job. But I appreciate it most when I'm looking after myself too.
• Optimum performance - without a doubt, I can get into "The Zone" quicker and stay there longer when I've had some time off to recuperate and recharge my batteries.

... All of which leads to greater productivity, happier customers and increased personal and business success.

The four step plan (How to improve your work-life balance)

1. Put down-time in the diary - It may seem a bit over controlling, but if you're used to working with a diary, then having an "appointment" to go out for a nice long walk with your family, or to mow the lawn (not at this time of year, I know!), then you're more likely to stick with it. We have a long standing joke at home that we plan to do something spontaneous every Saturday. Funny, but it works! It also means you can begin to find time for the things that you'd like to do but never have time for. Like create a time slot to go for that early morning run you've been saying you'll do this year, but haven't so far and it's over half way through January.
2. Evaluate and re-prioritise what you do with your time - If you take a look at how you spend your waking hours, you'll probably find that you spend quite a bit of time on people and activities that aren't valuable or life-enhancing. I don't mean finding chores that you hate, but looking for things that you're in the habit of doing that really don't give you many benefits. This could be spending excessive time searching the Internet for new ideas, or being a perfectionist and spending too long on getting unimportant tasks absolutely right. If you can stop yourself from wasting valuable time, you can replace it with more creative, joyful or relaxing activities that bring you the balance you're looking for,
3. Don't do, delegate - A great example of a book that can inspire change without getting further than the title! Take a look at tasks that you currently do, both in and out of work, that you might be able to pass on (maybe just in part) to a willing helper. Looking to share tasks with other people will give them an opportunity to work with you and to learn from you. Don't keep your (washing-up) skills to yourself!
4. Invigorate and rejuvenate - If you think "Exercise" is an 8 letter word, then find an activity that gets you up off your desk chair, or off of your sofa, and gets your blood pumping. Better still, an activity that gets fresh air into your lungs and daylight onto your skin. Research has shown that this will work wonders to clear your head and keep you more alert. It could be a brisk walk, a game of football, or a spot of digging in the garden. Failing that, try a cool (not cold) shower, get someone to give you a regular back and shoulder massage, or take up some form of yoga or meditation.

So there it is, hardly rocket science, but making a few small changes will make all the difference. So next time the work phone rings on a Sunday, will I answer it? The answer is "maybe"... depends how I'm feeling!

Do let me know your ideas for achieving work-life balance. Have you made any new year's resolutions that are already proving beneficial?

How to conquer procrastination (before it conquers you!)

A couple of days ago, the BBC published an article in their online News Magazine to accompany a Radio 4 broadcast about one of my pet topics: "Procrastination".

Ask anyone you know if they are "guilty of procrastination" and they're likely to own up to putting things off from time to time... So it wasn't a particular surprise to learn that Professor Piers Steel, author of The Procrastination Equation, has found in his extensive research that 95% of us procrastinate at some point!

Procrastination is an umbrella term to describe all the behaviours which avoid or delay doing things that we don't want to do, or don't like doing. There's a myriad of behaviours that we have at our disposal, from minimising the importance of tasks, to ignoring them completely, to justifying our approach as somehow more beneficial than just doing something.

We are all very different in what we like doing, how we like to do things and why we want to do things... So for me, the issue of procrastination is a complex one that will never be solved with a one-size-fits-all solution. Some people really don't see any problem for themselves in leaving tasks until they become critical, or life-threatening. (Their colleagues, friends and family may feel differently, but that's another matter.) In fact, they may well 'defend' their approach to work/life by saying that they're a perfectionist, or that they work better under pressure. Others will say that they know they procrastinate, but they have no idea how to stop doing it - they have a yearning that 'someday' (when they're less busy, stressed, distracted...) they'll sort themselves out and learn to take control. But you know where 'someday' gets us: not very far at all!

Everyone sits somewhere along the continuum of "happy to procrastinate" through to "desperate to stop procrastinating". Where we sit on that continuum will depend on the day of the week/month, the season of the year, the tasks in question and the people by whom we are surrounded. I imagine it as a set of scales, with the desire to act on one side and the perceived dread or dislike of doing whatever it is, on the other side. Whichever is stronger will always win. So unless you really, really want to stop procrastinating more than you want to avoid doing whatever the task is, then you'll never break the vicious cycle.

So what's the solution? I believe the first step involves becoming more conscious of the choices we make on a day-to-day, minute-by-minute basis. Rather than just 'going with the flow', seeing where our mood and un-checked inclination takes us, we can choose to consciously consider what we do with our time and why we're doing it. If we sit at our desk in the morning, open up our emails and just click through until something interesting grabs our attention, the likelihood is that we won't be putting our time to particularly good use. If there's a task that never seems to get ticked on our to-do-list, or something that we always seem to do in a panic at the last possible minute, then the first step is to understand why.

This first step will need a fair amount of courage and honesty. Is it that it seems too much like hard work? or perhaps it's because we're afraid of failure (so we don't want to even try in case we get it wrong). It could just be that we don't know where to start, or that it seems like an overwhelming mountain to climb. On the other hand, it could be that we're just not into doing things that we don't enjoy - particularly if there's no obvious immediate personal gain. The list is endless.

Once you have your most likely answer (or combination of answers) then, and only then can you begin to create a plan of action to address the issues. If you find this step difficult, and you're genuinely determined to get to the bottom of it, you may need to enlist the help of a trustworthy and supportive friend or colleague to explore the issues with you. It's not helpful to see it as a personality assassination, or a blame game - simply a detached analysis of what's getting in the way of you tackling particular tasks before you get to the "oh no, now I'm in real trouble" stage.

Here are a few suggestions for counteracting some of the most common reasons for procrastinating:

Unconvinced that procrastination is a problem?

• Identify the price of procrastination in terms of your reputation and relationships. Ask your immediate colleagues, friends and family how your procrastinating affects them. Then ask yourself, is it really worth it?
• Admit that procrastination is a lack of self-discipline and not a skill or technique - but it is within your power to overcome it.
• Recognise the impact your procrastination has on others and show more consideration to people by planning properly and involving them at the appropriate time.
• Remind yourself that tasks rarely get easier, or go away because they have been postponed.
• Convince yourself of the benefits to you, your colleagues, friends, family or anyone else that matters to you - if you do it sooner rather than later.

Overwhelmed by how much there is to do, or don't know where to start?

• Make a plan that breaks down the task into achievable chunks with estimated time allowances and time scales.  Small deadlines are so much easier to deal with than one large overwhelming task.
• Aim to get the task completed a while before any deadline - so that you allow for any unexpected interruptions and obtain a second opinion if required.
• Before you get going, identify any areas of the task that you may need help with, so that you can enlist the appropriate help in good time.  
• If you can, involve others early on in the task and approach it as a team effort. This could help you all avoid procrastinating, as you won’t want to let each other down.
• If the task involves a particular frame of mind, such as being creative, or feeling positive, or having clarity of thought - plan to do it when you know you are most likely to be feeling that way. (Leaving a complex or creative task until after lunch is not usually very productive!)
• Don’t allow the task to get out of control because you are being too fussy about certain elements – stay focused on the overall objective of the task, and what you are trying to achieve from it. ("Good enough is good enough")

The task is dull and boring, or something you don't like doing?

• Plan to do it when you are at your least energetic - you'll be pleased to plod your way through something un-challenging.
• Visualise yourself getting on with the task and realise how good you will feel if you complete it on time. Compare that with how bad you will feel if you don’t.
• Promise yourself a reward for completing it – and make sure you follow-through!

You're easily distracted, or you just keep forgetting to do things?

• Find and implement a reminder system that suits you - it could be Outlook task manager, an alarm on your phone, a simple diary/to do list on the wall, or a reminder by text or email from a friend. Use it to prompt yourself when it's time to start on a particular task that you've scheduled.
• When the time comes, try cutting yourself off from distractions (turn your phone off, go to a private room, or tell others that you don't want to be disturbed for an hour or so. Then just get on with it until your allotted time is up, or until you have completed the first stage.
• You may get distracted because you have a short attention span, or because you're attempting to do too much at once. If this is the case, make yourself stop, focus on something else and return to it at an allotted time.
• Tell others what you're getting on with, and let them know when you've finished, so they can congratulate you. (In a totally non-patronising way, of course!)
• Promise yourself a reward for staying focused and not being distracted – and make sure you follow-through!

You don't see the task as a major priority?

• Consider the consequences of continuing to leave the task uncompleted. If it genuinely won't make a jot of difference to you, or to others - cross it off your to do list and don't give it another thought.
• If you have other more important priorities right now, but you can envisage a future problem if you keep putting it off, schedule a specific date and time when you'll make a start.
• If you have lost sight of how important the task is in the grand scheme of things (you're getting too bogged down with small, less significant things) take time to write down your personal goals and priorities. Work out how this task fits in, and remind yourself of the value of completing it sooner rather than later.

I hope you'll find these few ideas useful. The key is not to try them all, but to understand what's behind your particular procrastination, and to tackle it with a strategy that is most likely to work.

To me, the most worrying part of the research findings shared by the BBC is that serious procrastinators are apparently less wealthy, less healthy and less happy than those who don't delay. So if you do happen to catch yourself justifying your procrastination to yourself or to others, it may be a good idea to stop and think about what's really going on, just in case you're inadvertently covering up a ticking time bomb...

Just who's calling the shots?

Here's a scenario that I'd like you to consider... see if there's any part of it that you recognise:

There's a company (call it "A Ltd") that has decided that there are far too many meetings and that the meetings that do happen are prone to over running, they lack structure and often leave people feeling frustrated and deflated... and there's a training company (call it "H2 Training") that is invited by A Ltd to run some in-house "Effective Meetings" training, with an emphasis on chairing skills. (So far so good?)

During the morning session, the trainer (let's call her "Tina Halperin") asks the group of learners to consider the various reasons for having a meeting, and whether considering the time and expense of having people attend a face-to-face event, there might on reflection be some better alternatives. It was generally agreed that calling people into a room just to present them with information that they could receive via email, a newsletter or view on an intranet in their own time, seemed not to be a great idea - particularly given how busy people are. In a similar way, it was agreed that calling a team meeting to delegate out work to individuals when there's no requirement for collaboration or discussion is also not a great use of time, as it leaves others sitting observing conversations that are irrelevant to them. (With me so far?)

So, having decided that there are often more efficient ways to distribute information and to delegate tasks, leaving meetings for the creative, dynamic conversations that require collaboration and consensus, Tina asked the learners to think about how they could apply this principle in practice. (The idea being that it would reduce the number of meetings and shorten the meetings that do take place). That's where the problem came... "Oh no, we can't possibly send people information by email or post it on the intranet, because they don't read emails and they never look at the intranet!" and "Yes... but when we ask people to do something without having it witnessed by the whole team and put in writing in the minutes, they often don't bother doing it!"... so that's why A Ltd has continued to arrange countless meetings at great expense, leaving participants bored and frustrated, because people don't bother reading emails and don't do what they're asked unless threatened by the humiliation of having to be accountable at the next meeting? "Yes, that's right."

So... did you recognise anything in that scenario? I have a feeling you probably did, although I really hope that you will have been as surprised by it as me! It just seems completely nonsensical and convoluted to allow a culture to develop around the unprofessional behaviour of an unaccountable few. My questions are: Why aren't the managers within this (or any other organisation experiencing the same thing) willing, able or enabled to call people to account? And why don't people feel obliged to read internal emails in preparation for attending meetings with their colleagues, or obliged to take responsibility for completing tasks that they agree to?

My feelings are that it is a complex combination of increasing workloads, ineffective time/task management, information overload, lack of decisive performance management and lack of personal accountability. Put that lot together and it's a wonder that anything gets done! Thankfully lots of things do get done and there are hundreds of thousands of conscientious, efficient and effective people getting on and doing their best. I just hope that there are enough people out there to stop for a moment and question the logic behind certain habitual processes and methods, to make sure that they are done for the right reasons - not just as a work-around to compensate for the behaviour of the few unaccountable individuals who end up calling the shots.

Do let me know your thoughts on the matter!